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Faults, Fixes and DIY Please share your experience and knowledge with other members by contributing your own DIY, or by helping another member find the elusive fix!


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Old Thu, Jun-02-2005, 08:13:31 PM   #1
1999 Dinan M3
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Default The Ultimate Poor Man's Car Wash

Washing your M on a regular basis, or even any car for that matter can get pretty tedious and labor intensive. While I am sure that you, as well as I , LOVE to spend time with your car, I am sure that you have better things you could be doing with your weekend hours and hard-earned money. I have, after many hours spent, come up with the ultimate in car washing techniques to not only save you time, but to also cut down on the costs associated with washing your precious car. If you are like me, you live in a pollen intensive area which will require a cleaning on a regular basis, here are some tips and tricks to giving your baby a good cleaning without breaking the wallet on a weekly basis:

Just like everything else you put in or on your car, you need to make sure that you only use the finest products possible. Some may recommend Zymol, Mother's and many other brands. I personally like to use either powdered laundry detergent or Dawn dishwashing liquid.. after all, we all know.. Dawn takes grease out of your way.

Chamois, on the really important washes, yes I fully believe in using a 100% natural chamois.. for the weekly washes, the quick cleans.. no need for one.. We will get to that later.

Wheel cleaner... I have tried the Castrol stuff, in a purple bottle, as well as the Zymol products. I do like to remove each wheel and clean it inside and out and then protect it with the Zymol protectant, but that again is when I am doing a thorough detailing.. for now we can just use some industrial brake cleaner and a few rags, or old shirts.

Lastly, waxing. Some prefer Meguiars, Mothers, Zymol, and many others.. Doing it properly, and time intensive.. I would remove all wax using a cleaner and then apply several coats of a quality wax and then a nice polish afterwards. I don't believe in orbital buffers, blood, sweat, and tears is the sign of TRUE love for your car. In this case, for the quick cleaning and waxing.. Sex Wax is what we will use, oh yeah.. and a portable torch, preferably propane or butane.

Let's get started!

As an impending rain storm is approaching, grab your gear and get ready! Just as the sprinkles start you need to act fast, not only to keep yourself as dry as possible, but to maximize the efficiency factor. Once the car is showing solid signs of being dampened, you now pour your soap all over the car.. I like to work it in with a sponge, or soft bristled brush to help loosen stubborn dirt. Note! Steel wool and toilet brushes are NOT good substitutes. Once the entire car is looking good and covered with soap... now get in a wait. Do not run the car as this will most likely dry the soap on the bonnet, and create problems with the paint. As it really begins to rain, and the soap begins to foam.. now we get to have fun!

Hop on your local highway to increase the intensity of the rain, and also to help not only scrub your car, but also rinse it. As you are driving you should keep your eyes on the sky for the clear sky, or lighter sky. Try to get yourself going in that direction. That is where you will be drying your car. By the time you get there, all the soap and dirt should be rinsed away..

Once you reach an area where it is not raining anymore, you will want to increase your speed to air dry your car as fast as possible. Once the front is dry, the back will still be a little spotty.. which is fine. Grab some napkins from the local fast food joint and wipe away the remaining water drops. At this point I would recommend doing the wheels next before you apply the wax.

For the wheels, I typically liberally spray the wheels with the industrial brake cleaner... and move on to the next, etc. until I am back at the first one. At that point I will use a rag to wipe away the brake dust and excess brake cleaner. Repeat for each wheel, until back at the beginning. Finsh with a clean rag and go over each wheel again, just to be certain. While the wheels dry, let's do the waxing.

You will need several containers of the Sex Wax to do your car. I would just pop the wax out of the container and break into pieces. Usually you would rub this on and that would be that. With the torch, heat the pieces up until they are soft and spread them around using a clean rag. Once it is spread around, gently and quickly pass the torch over the metallic surfaces that have had the wax applied so you finish it to a perfect mirror glaze. Allow time for the surface to cool before you touch or drive.

Voila! You have just quickly and inexpensively detailed the exterior of your car. Watch for my next installment.. Interiors, everything that you never thought could be done but someone is crazy enough to try - a companion to the Ultimate Poor Man's Car Wash
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Old Thu, Jun-02-2005, 11:06:47 PM   #2
///Motorsport3 kID
yousa nasty bltch, aintcha?
 
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is this a joke? there is just too much stuff in there that i disagree with to argue about.
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Old Thu, Jun-02-2005, 11:49:18 PM   #3
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Default Parody

Quote:
Originally Posted by ///Motorsport3 kID
is this a joke? there is just too much stuff in there that i disagree with to argue about.
I had to, yes.. I would never do most of that stuff.. I wanted to get someone to laugh..
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Old Fri, Jun-03-2005, 01:15:19 AM   #4
///Motorsport3 kID
yousa nasty bltch, aintcha?
 
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1999 Dinan M3
I had to, yes.. I would never do most of that stuff.. I wanted to get someone to laugh..

whew , good one man
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Old Fri, Jun-03-2005, 02:39:50 AM   #5
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You have wayyy toooo much time on your hands man! haha



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Old Fri, Jun-03-2005, 03:07:09 AM   #6
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Default Actually...

Quote:
Originally Posted by PoloBlue67
You have wayyy toooo much time on your hands man! haha



-Kevin
Actually I was p!ssed at work... and just gad to be creative..
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Old Fri, Jun-03-2005, 04:52:30 AM   #7
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Still a dumb post.
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Old Fri, Jun-03-2005, 05:00:05 AM   #8
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Damn man, I read through the entire thing. . . I want 5 mins of my life back!!!
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Old Mon, Jun-06-2005, 07:21:26 PM   #9
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Absoulutely REJARDED !
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Old Mon, Jun-06-2005, 09:59:47 PM   #10
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glad to see people have senses humor.. hey mods... just delete my post, it was meant to make people smile and laugh..even if it was "man what a wack job".. thx
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Discussing The Ultimate Poor Man's Car Wash in the Faults, Fixes and DIY Forum - Please share your experience and knowledge with other members by contributing your own DIY, or by helping another member find the elusive fix! at BMW M3 Forum.com (E30 M3 | E36 M3 | E46 M3 | E92 M3 | F80/X)