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Old Thu, Sep-07-2017, 10:28:39 PM   #1
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Default 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured





Every guy's worst fear is breaking his penis. The good news is that you can't technically break your penis, because there's no bone in it to break. But there are a number of other penis-related injuries you can experience that are just as horrifying. While minor bruises and cuts are probably the most common injuries (as well as getting kicked in the balls), you can also fracture your penis, get a Charley horse, scar it, or even skin it alive .

According to ER doctors, these are just some of the mishaps that have landed men in the emergency room for genital-related injuries. Here are their stories.



1) Fracturing your penis.

"That's when a man tears the tough outer lining of his penis during sex when he bangs his erect penis into his partner's pubic bone. It usually happens when the female is on top and thrusting down on the man's erect penis."

Pee-pee fractures usually happens when a partner is drunk. That was the case with one of his recent patients. "They were having drunk monkey sex at 2 a.m. when she slammed her pelvic bone forcefully down on his erect penis. They both heard a loud cracking sound followed by his shriek of pain," he recalls.

As Dr. Mills recounted it, the patient's previously erect penis had turned into a “large eggplant." The patient’s injury was so severe that he not only fractured his penis, but he also tore his urethra completely, so he was unable to urinate. The patient now uses a urinary catheter for the rest of his life.
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Old Thu, Sep-07-2017, 10:29:46 PM   #2
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Default Re: 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured

2) A Charley horse in the groin.

When Will*, 37, woke up one morning with a large lump in his groin close to the side of the base of his penis, he went straight to the doctor. As Will recounts it, the doctor immediately asked if he was in a relationship, and if the relationship was relatively new.

"I said, 'yes,'" Will recalls. "He asked if we were having lots of sex: 'Oh, yes.' He told me that with doggy style sex, when the bones of the woman's hips match up with the soft tissue of the man's crotch, the excessive hip-to-hip action can cause swelling much like getting punched."

The doctor suggested that Will abstain from sex for three days. Will refused and was later hospitalized for excessive swelling.
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Old Thu, Sep-07-2017, 10:31:32 PM   #3
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Default Re: 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured

3) Priapism

While a prolonged erection amazing and delivious, it actually happens more often than you think. Anson*, 42, said he once experienced a 20-hour erection as a side effect of taking Trazodone, a prescription medication for anxiety and depression.

"I took the pill one night and woke up with an erection that wouldn't go down. I tried masturbating 12 times, but no luck. It was up for about 10 hours when I went to the ER," says Anson, 42.

The ER doctors gave Anson an injection of pseudoephedrine, a decongestant that shrinks blood vessels. It didn’t work, so they turned to Plan B: draining the penis. "They used a syringe to get into the vein and just let the blood flow out. They had to do this at the base on both sides of the penis. By this point, I'd been hard for almost 20 hours. I suffered permanent damage," says Anson.
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Old Thu, Sep-07-2017, 10:33:12 PM   #4
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Default Re: 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured

4) Testicular torsion

Melinda*, 61 , was "going to town" on her boyfriend in the classic Cowgirl position when her boyfriend abruptly stopped and screamed out in pain.

"I was riding him hard and he dislocated his nut. His nut went over his penis, but he just pushed it down and kept going. I guess some guys want to take advantage of every boner they have. It was so strange," recalls Melinda.

A 'dislocated nut,' as Melinda describes it, is more likely Testicular Torsion, in which the spermatic cord attached to the testicle can get twisted, cut off the blood flow to the testicle, and cause pain. When he pushed it back down, it probably untwisted.

Dr. Zachary Zahalsky offers one possible precaution for athletes, runners, sports players, and cyclists, to take: "Wear tight fitting bike shorts or underwear so the testicles aren't flapping around, which can potentially twist the up. Personally, I like Lulu Lemon for men."
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Old Thu, Sep-07-2017, 10:35:52 PM   #5
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Default Re: 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured

5) Stuck cack rings

DIY sex toys are also responsible for tons of ER visits. Dr. Mills, for instance, had a patient who was taking medication that caused him to urinate frequently. So he put an industrial-sized hex nut (¾ inches thick, 3 inches in diameter, and 2 inches in length) around the base of his penis. It forced him to pee less because it compressed his urethra.

"He fell asleep with this snug hex nut on, only to wake up with a swollen erection. The part of the penis past the nut continued to swell like a grilled bratwurst," says Dr. Mills.

The patient called 911. But it was too late, said Mills. "His skin was sloughing off like a horrible sunburn and the tip of the penis turned dusky, a term surgeons use to describe a limb that has no blood flow. He also couldn't pee," he explains.

"We had to use [an electric] saw with lots of steel cutting blades. Sparks were flying across the room and a nurse had to flush cold water over the penis and rub it so we didn't set fire to his penis or the hospital. After about an hour, we finally removed it, but it was too late. He got a skin graft to cover the blank area. He's a eunuch now," adds Dr. Mills.

Bottom line: Don't stick your penis in anything not made for a penis. And no matter what, don't fall asleep with anything on your penis. Period.
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Old Thu, Sep-07-2017, 10:47:50 PM   #6
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Default Re: 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured

OP, what's the easiest way to merge these into one helpful infographic?


Asking for a friend.
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Old Thu, Sep-07-2017, 11:11:46 PM   #7
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Default Re: 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured

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Originally Posted by LALaw View Post


Pee-pee fractures usually happens when a partner is drunk. That was the case with one of his recent patients. "They were having drunk monkey sex at 2 a.m. when she slammed her pelvic bone forcefully down on his erect penis. They both heard a loud cracking sound followed by his shriek of pain," he recalls.

As Dr. Mills recounted it, the patient's previously erect penis had turned into a “large eggplant." The patient’s injury was so severe that he not only fractured his penis, but he also tore his urethra completely, so he was unable to urinate. The patient now uses a urinary catheter for the rest of his life.


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3) Priapism

"They used a syringe to get into the vein and just let the blood flow out.
I would hope that all that blood was donated to a person in need and not wasted

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Originally Posted by LALaw View Post
4) Testicular torsion

Melinda*, 61 , was "going to town" on her boyfriend in the classic Cowgirl position when her boyfriend abruptly stopped and screamed out in pain.

"I was riding him hard and he dislocated his nut.


Grandma reverse cowgirl
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Old Thu, Sep-07-2017, 11:53:37 PM   #8
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Default Re: 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured

turns out I've been close to serious injuries in almost all these ways before. Thanks for telling me AFTER!

Also, #2 is less likely to happen when yore partner has enough cushion for the pushin
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Old Fri, Sep-08-2017, 12:00:39 AM   #9
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Default Re: 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured

I was cringing reading these.
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Old Fri, Sep-08-2017, 06:02:49 AM   #10
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Default Re: 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured

Just read these out loud to others. Thank you law. . . and Melinda.
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Discussing 5 Worst Ways to Get Injured in the Off Topic Forum - Place to discuss this and that. Note: We also have "request to join" forums: Guns and Fitness.
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